When I tell people I’m a game reviewer, I’m not exactly telling the truth.  Not because I also do interviews, news and the like, no.  It’s because, like many, many games journalists (and some use the term very loosely) I have another job that takes up the majority of my time.  Still, when people ask, I always tell them that I’m a games reviewer.  Why is this?  Well, partially it’s because that’s what I really love doing, but it’s what I want to be doing in the future, so I may as well tell them that now, as I’m going to make a damned impact, mark my words.

“That’s so awesome! Is that your dream job?” People usually respond.  Yeah, it is.  Hell, most people think it’s the most amazing laid-back job in the world, but I always try and set them straight.  In fact, games reviewing and journalism is amongst the most demanding jobs you’ll have; people never seem to see that.

One of the first problems I found when I started all this was perspective.  I wasn’t able to look at a game anymore without reviewing and critiquing it mentall, and it’s something that’s only gotten worse with time.  If a friend asks me how a game is, I’ll always end up giving them a review, as that’s how I’ve been programmed…this doesn’t necessarily match what they want to hear.

Ok, it’s like this.  Likely, over ¾ of the games writers out there work two jobs, for many reasons.  The first is the supply versus demand.  Everyone thinks game reviewing is so great that most people that can use spell-check and write anything down will try and apply for the work.  The work is so slim because most people who get a decent position hold on to it for dear life, and as well they should, ‘cause that’s exactly what I would do.  In Australia, there’s a very small amount of game writing jobs, so most people keep to their real job to actually pay the bills.  Fair enough.

The other option to writing full-time is freelancing.  Now this sounds extremely desirable, because you’re technically your own boss and as long as you’re keeping to the schedule, you have all the freedom in the world.  What’s the downside?  Again, demand.  Go down the freelancer route and you’re pimping yourself out hard to anyone who will listen, just so you can make enough to feed yourself.

Also, unless you’re working one of the super-rare full-time jobs, the pay is abysmal.  You’ll be moving between around 10-25c a word if you’re lucky.  Sure, an 800-1000 word review can rake in a very rare $250 or so, but we should really break that down to the work involved. Personally, I like to put about 20 hours into a game; now this depends on the game, many will require more.  Fighting games, 20 hours is enough to finish the career, do the extra modes and try multiplayer.  Shooters, this will be enough to play around in the campaign, try it on a harder difficulty, and try the online modes. In racing games, that’s plenty to give it all a good go.  What about RPGs and sims?  You’re barely scraping the surface.  And don’t forget action games, they’re completely hit and miss in their time requirements.  So you’ve put in 20 hours into a game, then you do the writing about it.  Say you put 24 hours all up, that’s only a bit more than $10/hour.  Ah, that’s a big problem.  I hope you weren’t expecting to buy anything or go out this week, that’s all going on bills.

The other thing is the games themselves.  I don’t know if you know this or not, but not every game is a AAA title.  In fact, there’s a good chance you’ll be playing a lot of games you don’t want to.  This is the important bit, where you’re reminded that it’s work, where it’s not all fun and games.  Well, it is all games, but it’s not always fun.  So you still need to put in your hours into say, Charm Girls Club.  I’m sure it’s a great game, but I’m hardly the demographic it’s marketed to.  Still, in goes my time, and of course the research to see what’s different from other games of the same type.  Ah, good times.  Oh wait, they’re not.  I’d rather drink a cup of my own piss.  Seriously.

Now, most of the payment stuff really only applies to those being paid.  Most of us aren’t, but we do it out of love.  I’m one of those guys, but my reasoning is actually because I’d love to be noticed, and not writing at all surely isn’t going to make that happen.  So, for those not being paid we’re mostly doing the exact same thing as the ‘full-timers’, we just do it on top of our real jobs.  When there’s events, we either take paid leave which makes less for when we actually want to go on holidays, or we take unpaid leave.  Social life?  Forget it.  From the time we come home to the late times we go to bed, we’re writing and reviewing.  During our lunch breaks?  Writing and reviewing.  Weekends too, especially actually.  Weekends are the greatest time, as you can really just settle in and get the work done.  I hope you have an understanding partner too, because they need to be; you’re going to work hard.

The final point I’ll make is the industry filth.  As lead reviewer, I’m always on the scout for new talent.  There’s two types of ‘industry’ people that you’ll see.  Taken, or crap.  There’s a reason they’re taken, someone snapped them up first.  And the crap?  They’re awful; they’re the people that write so badly they’re more work than they’re worth.  You’ll spend more time editing their work rather than doing your own, so leave them well alone.

So that’s my own breakdown of the industry, and my warning.  Personally, I love the industry and I’ll discuss that next week, but hopefully your eyes are a little more open to see how much work it really is, and how it’s not always parties and snorting coke off hooker’s asses.

Full details after the jump.

• 9 New Multiplayer map locations — more than doubling the amount of territories in the Multiplayer Competitive modes
• 8 New Multiplayer characters— play as characters from Red Dead Revolver
• Introducing a new projectile weapon: the Tomahawk, with corresponding Challenges for single player and multiplayer
• New Achievements/Trophies
• Pricing: $9.99 (PlayStation Network), 800 Microsoft Points (Xbox LIVE)

John Hillcoat (the Australian director of The Proposition and The Road) has created and directed a 29 minute short film from the world of Red Dead Redemption.  It’s made entirely from in game footage, so at least have some awe and respect for the sheer amount of work that’s been put in. Kick back and enjoy the life and times of John Marston as he seeks out his former brother-in-arms, Bill Williamson.

Ok, I’ll admit that I promised that I would do these on the train, hence the name; and it’s been a while since I have done one, and there is a completely related reason as to why I haven’t been able to.  The reason is actually pretty simple; truth is I’ve just recently gotten married.  Turns out, organising a wedding?  It’s a hell of a job.

My rant tonight is actually a related one too, lucky for you.  As there was a bunch of gaming journalists and gamers alike that came to the wedding, it reminds me of how many of these noobs I’ve totally owned over the years, which reminds me of how many games have shithouse multiplayer.

My problem isn’t with games having multiplayer per se, it’s more of how it’s shoehorned into games; partially due to ridiculous demand, partially due to ridiculous needs from developer ‘higher ups’.  Why do they something so silly as adding multiplayer to a game that doesn’t really need it?  Well, that’s where you come in, and shame on you it is!  The executive devils are only following what is demand, and it’s players such as yourselves (maybe not you specifically) that have called for multiplayer, constantly whining that a single player package isn’t a ‘whole game’.  So they add it to appease you; and you know what?  Nine times out of ten, it’s really average (and I use that term very loosely).

The argument that games aren‘t complete without a multiplayer component is one that really grates on my bones.  BioShock was a fantastic game; almost a damned work of art and it didn’t have multiplayer. With BioShock 2 they listened to the hordes and added it, and you know what it was? Average.  Really average.  Why is this, do you think?  Well, part of it was due to BioShock kicking so much ass that a sequel would have a tough act to follow.  But the other reason was this, and it should be obvious; not every game can reinvent multiplayer.  You’ll often see the same old multiplayer modes just in a new game, and this is bound to happen. There’s only so many ways you can kill each other, it’s true.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of games that do multiplayer wonderfully well; Battlefield: Bad Company 2, Modern Warfare 2, Halo 3, Red Faction: Guerrilla to name a few.  In most cases though, the multiplayer is the main focus, the single player suffers. Bad Company 2 and Modern Warfare 2 are some good examples of this.  Multiplayer was amazing, where the single player campaign made me wish I was licking someone’s back clean after a day at the sauna in preference to playing the campaign, it was just that damned painful.

Finally there’s the middle, where both single player and multiplayer is an absolute treat.  Games this like .hmm….trying to think of some.  Oh yes, Red Dead Redemption was a blast both ways.  Saints Row 2 had a great co-op component, but that hardly counts.  Hell, if you can think of more, please let me know.  Needless to say, they’re rare.

Actually, some games really screw it up.  Resident Evil 5 added multiplayer after the launch of the game, and it was bloody dreadful.  Fans really changed their minds about wanting multiplayer in Resident Evil after that little bit of DLC.  Let that be a lesson to you.  Some games just don’t damned well need it, sometimes the single player is so damned good that it’s a full pack on its own.

I‘ll wrap up with a few finals thoughts, as one of two outcomes has probably happened by the end here. Firstly, you’re seething with rage because you’re one of the absolute idiots who think that every game requires more players.  Secondly, you’re agreeing with me, and as well you should, because I’m right.  Thirdly, I’ve bored you with my rant and you’ve completely nodded off.  If this is you, well, I couldn’t  care less about you.

Keep an eye out every Friday, because from now on this train trip is going to be directed at seeding out some of the postulant sores and boils that plague the otherwise very sexy embodiment that is gaming.  Off the Rails is back, and I’m gunning for you.

Xbox Insider and 2K Games Australia are giving you a chance to win the following:

• One copy of Borderlands
• One copy of Borderlands:  Double Add-on Pack
• One Borderlands T-shirt (Large Size)

Want to know how to win?  It’s easy! Just pop an email to ozcomps at xboxinsider.net with your answer to the following question:

If you could design your dream gun, what would it be?

Terms & Conditions:

• Don’t bore me with your answers; be fun, creative, exciting!
• Competition closes on June 30th, 2010
• Only one entry per email address
• Family of site members are not allowed to enter
• Only Australian residents will be allowed entry, I’m not sending stuff overseas dammit (I’m poor).

• And were off! first up, COD: Black Ops Trailer.
• The graphics are stunning! If this is all in-game, then Treyarch have certainly improved the COD:Mw2 Engine.
• Very short trailer
• A guy from Teyarch takes the stage, His name is Mark. Mark..something.
• He’s playing the game, going through tunnels.  Its all very dramatic and pretty, ever so pretty.
• “Swift” just got knifed…poor guy.
• “In the interest of time” appears on the screen, and were now in a very detailed jungle.
• Pew pew pew, standard COD shooting.
• Helicopter gameplay is shown, again all very pretty.
• It looks like the chopper controls are pretty easy, should be a step up from Bad Company 2!
• And hes off, bye Mark”
• Don Mattrick takes the stage
• All COD map packs will launch first on Xbox from now on
• Natal is called Kinect now. WOO
• Hideo Kojima takes the stage…
• MGS Rising news?
• YES!
• Shigenobu takes the stage
• First footage of Rising shown!
• A bulky guard thing is slowly walking along, then POW out comes Raiden and hes gone.
• Cut and Take seems to be the games motto
• Things are sliced perfectly as the blade slices through them
• Every Game, Demo and Experience from now on is exclusive to 360!
• Cliffy B takes the stage
• Hes such a Bro.
• First gameplay of Gears 3 is shown
• It’s all very Gearsy, less grey though!
• It seems a bit faster to me!
• A new mode called Beast will be unveiled later
• Peter Molyneux takes the stage
• Fable 3, set 5 decades after Fable 2
• Ships October 26th
• A trailer is shown, which will no doubt be on the site later!
• A 300-ey looking trailer is being shown
• A new exclusive from Crytek
• “Codename Kingdoms”…is its err…Codename.
• Marcus Leto takes the stage to discuss Halo Reach
• Campaign Trailer!
• The sense of scale is incredible
• Were shown the Spartans fighting a group of Elites
• Again, Preeeettyyyy.  Xbox has still got it!
• Coming 14.09.10!
• Its all about Kinect now!
• Showing off a new Kinect Dashboard, very smooth.  Voice can be used to control the dashboard
• Ron’s gone!
• VideoKinect is being demoed
• HAHA Avatar joke.  You crazy sonabitch.
• VideoKinect also works with Live messenger!
• ESPN is coming to the 360? Yay?
• Can be controlled by Kinect, I’m sensing a pattern here
• ESPN free for gold members!
• Kudo takes the stage!
• 6 Kinect launch games
• Kinectamals, adorable!
• Its a virtual pet sim! So cute.
• Kinect Sports.  Its totally not Wii Sports
• Hurdles is shown, looks fairly responsive
• Kinect Joyrides up!
• Looks pretty fun, cant complain
• Kinect Adventures is up
• Again, looks fun…I think the Avatars have changed a bit.
• They need new actors…this is far cheesier than it needs to be.
• A Ubisoft fitness game is shown, called Your Shape: Fitness Evolved
• Dance Central is up. UNCE UNCE UNCE.
• Wow its a Harmonix game? Crazy.
• This game will be immense when you re drunk!
• Kinect launches in the USA on November 4th
• Kinect Star Wars trailer is shown
• Looks INCREDIBLE
• PEW PEW, VROOM.  Star Wars freaks are going to love it!
• Turn 10 guys are up!
• Showing a racing game, not sure if its Forza 3…
• Look around your car, focusing on individual parts
• Coming 2011 is shown, must be a new game in the series!
• New 360 is shown, DAYYUMMM its small!
• Shiny too!
• 250GB HDD built in, Wireless N built in and same price as a current 360?
• Shipping to retailers today! In stores later this week!
• Everyone in the audience gets a free 360?! What?
• Its over! I want a 360